Sign up for FREE webinar on’5 Ways to Beat Fear and Conquer Change’

Hello everyone

I am so excited to invite you to my live webinar on Tuesday 7th August at 7.00 pm London time. This webinar is for anyone interested in personal development. It will introduce participants to successful strategies of beating anxiety; learn to create positive manifestations and build on their core values to have the life of their dreams. By following these simple yet powerful techniques you will learn how the universe has your back when you indulge in the right thought processes.

It will also introduce you to the proven Formula of Success and help you create your Date with Destiny, powerful tools that will give a taster of Transformation Coaching. Please share the link with anyone who you feel can benefit from these life changing ideas.

You can join from anywhere you are, sign up and log in at the allocated time according to your own time zone.

See you there!

Just click on this link to sign up and book your FREE webinar ticket. Coaching packages are also available on discount for a limited time only.

Follow our Facebook page @thesparklingnewyou to book a FREE Discovery call.

I landed with expectations and got consumed with fear….a tale of many new migrants

Change can be very daunting; especially when it is a result of external factors and not initiated by yourself. Yet, being the resilient and adaptable creatures we are we use our skills and experiences to make sense of the change. I sometimes meet young women from  small villages from Kashmir now living in a busy metropolis like London. They epitomise the perfect example of cultural adaptation. The transformations they have to go through to make a place for themselves in a modern country where women have a very different status from what they grew up believing; and the parental challenges they face are just few of the aspects of their huge struggles. Similarly young men and women coming to modern western countries from the developing world full of dreams and fired with enthusiasm in search of jobs often see themselves fall prey to dejection, loneliness and despair. They come with a mind set of giving their best, working very hard, often compromising on the life styles they are used to back home and bearing the separation of loved ones but even all these sacrifices are not enough to help them in their new country of choice. They are coping with so many changes in life at once- an onslaught of new information; dealing with a foreign culture; a different work culture having to interact with people who think and act differently than they are used to. Sounds tough… yet, the road is never too bleak. This transition period is a learning curve that polishes them, slowly they gain confidence and once they feel they ‘belong’ they start contributing as citizens. From ‘feeling lost‘ to ‘belonging‘ is a journey that varies for each individual.

This journey becomes bearable when you have a friend, a mentor or a coach to guide you. Have you ever felt lost? When ? How did you cope?

Should you be worried when people start changing?

Today I was prompted to pen down my thoughts on a phenomenon that troubled me. I am usually a patient person with deep trust in relationships. I understand when sometimes people behave out of character but when it starts to become a pattern I start wondering. The first thought that comes to my mind is Have I done something to upset this person? I try to reach out and communicate and ask for clarification but when the responses are cold I know I need to just stop and be patient.

The problem is its not that easy especially when that person is someone close to you. It causes doubts and can create misunderstandings and even negativity. Some time back, I was challenged with the same situation when a few of my close friends felt I had changed and was not as responsive as I usually am. At my end, I know I was struggling with health issues and constant pain that affected my behaviours but I expected others; specially people close to me to understand, but alas this did not happen and I found myself clarifying the situation and also feeling misunderstood and lonely.

Incidentally, I was again in self-doubt recently because of the changed behaviour of a loved one and I could not figure out what had gone wrong. Later, I realised a stressful issue had caused a temporary change in their behaviour; it had nothing to do with me.

The truth is we are too quick to judge, often failing to contemplate the situation of the person. It certainly does not help if you tell the person who is already struggling with some issue that they have changed. I try to practice patience and have faith. Sometimes all of us go through situations in life where we need space for our selves; we need to process stuff or deal with it. Of course there may be other reasons for changed behaviours and perhaps that is a signal for us to take stock and review the relationship.

Have you faced something similar? Open communication is great, but what if you are faced with cold responses? Any thoughts?

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Refugees – How do you look upon them?

June 20 is marked as the UN Day for Refugees. Most people are know about refugees but seldom do people know the full story. What people know is mostly fed to them by the media. We are led to believe that the world is now dealing with a refugee crisis, the fact is that Refugees and asylum seekers constitute roughly 10 per cent of all international migrants

There are an estimated 285 million international migrants who comprise of 3.4 percent of the world’s population. Half of these are women. Female migrants outnumber male migrants in the North, whereas male migrants outnumber female migrants in the South.

Half of this increase took place in countries of the developed regions (the “North”), while the other half took place in the developing regions (the “South”).

We need a shift in the way we see migrants,unfortunately the media mostly portrays them as destitute persons who are a burden on the local resources and social services. The fact is migrants make significant contributions to both their host and home countries. 48% of these migrants are women who send a higher percentage of their earnings back home.  However this positive growth is not reflected because of political reasons and penalising asylum policies,  Global goals targets include Protecting labour rights, Facilitate orderly, safe, regular and responsible migration and mobility of people, reduce costs of migrant remittances , End abuse, exploitation, trafficking

Migration is a powerful poverty reduction tool, which can contribute to the achievement of the SDGs

Labour migration can reduce poverty for migrants themselves, their families, and their origin and host countries.

Migrants and their families benefitfrom increased income and knowledge, which allows them to spend more on basic needs, access education and health services, and make investments – directly impacting SDG 1, SDG 3 and SDG 4.

For female migrants, increased economic resources can improve their autonomy and socioeconomicstatus, impacting SDG 5.

SDG targets related to migration

To reap the positive effects of migration we need to

SDG 8.8:Protectlabourrights and promote safe and secure working environments for all workers, including migrant workers, in particular women migrants, and those in precarious employment.

 

10.7: Facilitate orderly, safe, regular and responsible migration and mobilityof people, including through the implementation of planned and well-managed migration policies. ……..Humanitarian visas

 

10.c: By 2030, reduceto less than 3% the transactioncosts of migrant remittancesand eliminate remittance corridors with costs higher than 5%.

 

SDG 16.2:End abuse,exploitation,traffickingand all forms of violence against and torture of children.

 

SDG 17.18:By 2020, enhance capacity building support to developing countries, including for Least Developed Countries (LCDs) and Small Island Developing States (SIDS)……………Support funding to UN agencies

 

Ref: https://www.odi.org/publications/10913-migration-and-2030-agenda-sustainable-development

 

What can we do to change the narrative?

Success through coaching

Who needs a coach?

Have you ever felt no one understands you or you need someone to talk to about what you are feeling, where you are heading? Need support on relationship issues, finding your life purpose and fulfillment, how to bring up your children and/or help them achieve to their full potential? If this sounds like you or someone you know then you are ready for coaching.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every situation is unique, what works for one person may not work for others. Coaches understand that you are the best person to know what works for you. The universe rewards focus and intent; together, you and I will use techniques to facilitate you to focus on your goals, explore, find resources and develop a road map to success.

empowerment

I offer personalized coaching to help clients achieve their goals.

How does it work?

Personal Success Coaching

  1. Client approaches the coach with a problem they wish to work on.
  2. A complimentary no-obligation session is set up where the client experiences and learns about the coaching methodology and the coach gives advice on the services available.
  3. The client decides if they wish to hire the services of the coach.
  4. If the client agrees to go ahead, a contract is made between the client and the coach with a minimum of three sessions per month. Session duration and support depends on the package chosen by the client.

Group Coaching

A variety of Group coaching programs are also available for educational institutions. With 30+ years of experience in managing teaching and learning in the best schools and teacher training institute of Karachi, I specialize in comprehensive programs for teachers and students to achieve their true potential.

How to make Contact

You can get in touch through the contact form on this site.

For immediate contact, message me on my Facebook page.

Coaching is available in English, Urdu and Hindi. I primarily work online but face to face coaching is also provided when requested.

I will also be sharing blog posts on a regular basis on different social themes to encourage discussion. It will be my privilege if you become part of this fraternity and invite other women too. Please have a look at the blog posts as I would love to hear your thoughts and keep the conversation going. Don’t forget to follow the blog by email , you will find the link in the side bar. Keep sparkling!!

The story of my scars

Scars are usually perceived as ugly unsightly things, a disfigurement that mars beauty. However, recently I watched an inspiring video of an amazing lady that made me realise that we often undermine the transforming power of these physical and emotional scars. Muniba Mazari has certainly become my hero and has propelled to the top of my list of inspiring women of the world. I will not delve into her story but will urge all of you to watch this amazing talk and learn about her first hand.

I must admit I find physical scars difficult to deal with. To me, they represent the pain they must have inflicted on the bearer and are a constant reminder as well as a source of curiosity and concern for the observer. As a person who has a near physical  reaction every time I hear about someone’s hurt, I truly admire people who confidently embrace their physical scars and forge ahead. I am even more impressed when I see people bravely camouflaging the scars of their soul. We think we are good at hiding these but a person who wears these like a badge on their sleeves is is not too hard to discern. These are the scars I find fascinating; in fact even liberating. For me the cracks left by personal heartaches, once mended seem to have captured and assimilated some light from places within me I never thought existed.

I recently learnt about the Japanese practice of filling cracks of a broken object with gold. I think it’s a beautiful concept that pays tribute to the process of healing and acknowledges the transformation of a broken object to a more beautiful whole.

cracks filled with gold

Like many other women bound by duty, suffering in silence and learning to cope with challenges, I believe my emotional scars taught me to be stronger and wiser. I constantly find inspiration from strong people around me. I am fortunate to have met an amazing woman in Australia who shared her journey of being an author, artist and an entrepreneur once she moved from being a survivor of childhood abuse and neglect. Melanie Lee now has a permaculture business. In her own words, “ I broke this cycle and re-wrote my life story.”

It’s not easy to acknowledge that we have been scarred and talk about them. However, recognising these can be the first step to a transformation that you need. Every little punch hole in my heart and the deep cuts on my soul have a story behind them. I am not unhappy but grateful for the wisdom that these experiences have taught me. Using this learning I believe I can enrich the lives of others as I am more empathetic to their pain and understand their need for support and compassion.

So I urge you to take that first step to tell the story of your scars and let the healing begin so that you are a source of strength and wisdom for others.
                                                                ~Pause to Reflect~ 

If you are struggling with some emotional issues and aim to free yourself from the limiting thoughts, then contact us  for a FREE consultation.  Let us coach you and help you rediscover the sparkling you. Also follow this blog and our Facebook page for updates on upcoming events.

New Beginnings

 

How does it make you feel when you think of starting something new? It could be a new job, a new relationship or even starting a new life in a new country.

Beginnings are always exciting for me, the fact is that most often they are the end result of some previous efforts. My first job was for me a testament that I am qualified enough to get hired and be paid for my capabilities. As time passes, the excitement is replaced with challenges and new learnings. A new chapter of our life starts willing us to become a new person.  With every new career path comes period of ups and downs that can lead to promotion, redundancy and even termination.

Relationships are often the most challenging aspect of our lives. Facebook may have made the announcement of a new relationship status seem simple enough, but this is again a time of much trepidation mingled with a mountain of expectations. In every new relationship  we find a mixture of happiness and fear. The fear of the unknown and the intricacies involved in making it a success.

Travelling to a new place is another thing that takes many of us out of our comfort zone. Some people love the adventure and some shy away from it. Especially leaving your home and moving to settle in a new country is no small feat. Holidays and fun trips are pleasure driven while immigrating can be a very exhausting and emotionally draining experience.

All new beginnings herald change. Change is the only constant in our lives and we have no choice but to deal with it in the best way we know. Adapting to change is an art that demands a lot of energy.  Sometimes we find ourselves out of our depth and need support to think out of the box; to understand why we are unable to break free from a vicious cycle.

The three most important things that have helped me to survive and deal with change are;

  • Keeping a positive outlook

I try to find my ray of sunshine in the most bleak situations. Even the tiniest bit of positivity helps me to keep me going. I practice gratitude and have faith.

  • Keeping an eye on the goal

I do not lose sight of my goal. I take responsibility for where I am at that point in time. I know my own choices have a big role to play in my situation so I accept that and just focus on achieving my goal.

  • I am curious and open to new thoughts

A big part of accepting change is being open to new ideas. I absorb my new surroundings and learn by observing people and how they behave.

I would love to know how you deal with change.

If you wish to talk about the challenges you may be facing because of any particular change you are dealing with now then please  contact us. Read Shaista’s story for a glimpse of her journey.

“Mirror mirror on the wall, do I have what it takes to be…..”~an exercise on self-reflection

 

Are you a pussy cat who sees themselves as a lion? or a lion who appears to be a pussy cat? How realistic are your perceptions of yourself?

Are you in the midst of repositioning yourself in life. Looking for a more challenging and fulfilling career? Or at a crossroads deciding on which path to take? Often when we are faced with an important decision we start to contemplate and think about who we are, are we strong enough to take that jump or do we prefer to stay within our comfort zones.
Change can be very exciting as well as nerve racking, all depends on your state of mind. However, no matter at what stage in our life there is usually a vision in our minds. Successful people train their minds to visualise success. The law of attraction is simply about attracting things in our lives that we focus on.
This post will introduce you to a simple exercise that I find very effective at un-decisive times. Through self-reflection we are able to clarify our thoughts and focus on our real goals.
Start with a vision board of the ideal place you see yourself in, visualize the tiniest detail. What are you doing? Where are you living? What does your work area look like? How are you behaving? What are you wearing ? Who are your friends? What are you doing on a holiday etc., you can either draw this, make notes or even create a collage of pictures cut out of a magazine.
Once you have your vision in place, you know where you are headed. Now its time to find out if you have what it takes to be that person you wish to be. Whether you want to be the Chief Executive of a large corporation, a successful writer or a great father, you have to start acting like the person you wish become.
Its time to have a good look at yourself in the mirror.
What do you see? Who is this person in front of you? Do you identify with him/ her? Do you like this person? or you feel hopeless ?What is this person saying with his eyes, his look, the slight curve of his mouth.
Note the things you see, what you like and what you wish to change. Seems simple right? but it’s really not that simple.
How you perceive your physical reflection has to do a lot with how you perceive yourselves. Are there any nagging thoughts? What is your mind saying to you?
“I am the best and I deserve all success” or “I can never be the person I want to be”. “I don’t have the brains, or the confidence”, “I am not smart enough”, “I can’t do this because I don’t have time”, “I can’t do this because my husband won’t allow me”… 
Are you the blamer, the procrastinator or the risk-taker?
Keep going back to the mirror and quizzing yourself. Make a note of the voices you hear in your head. This mind chatter is not senseless, its your sub-conscious manifesting itself and making you take decisions. Look for repetitive patterns. These voices are your guide for the future.
Note down everything you hear your mind say.
Then sit down and rate each statement. How close to reality is each statement. Rate yourself on a scale of 0-10 with 10 being the highest score which represents your reality. Start working on the gaps you find. Depending on what your personal scoring is, you will be able to take an informed decision. Listen to your heart and if you really want an objective assessment discuss your analysis with a friend.
Your friend can be a good coach. In the darkest and most challenging phases of my life my friends have been my mentors and coaches I feel really blessed to have them.
To help you on your path practice the following:
1. Write positive affirmations about yourself start with at least 10 affirmations. These should reflect what you want to be or what you wish to do with your life. Always use the word ‘I’ and use the present tense.  eg. “I am always good at my job”. Read them aloud, this will help you get the negative thoughts out of your mind.
2. Look within yourself. Ask questions about yourself and understand your behaviours and your thoughts. Your subconscious makes you the person you believe you are. Meditate, reflect , start a journal.
3. Keep visualising, be creative, DREAM BIG!… YOU are UNSTOPPABLE
If you like contact me for an informal discussion. Coaching can help you to not only take an informed decision but also challenge you to be the best version of yourself and reach the heights of success you were born for…

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